Wonder《奇迹男孩》043

Seeing August   如何看待奥古斯特（下）

I think the only person in the world I couldhave told any of this to was Grans, but I didn’t. It was too hard to explainover the phone. I thought maybe when she came for Thanksgiving, I’d tell herwhat I felt. But just two months after I stayed with her in Montauk, mybeautiful Grans died. It was so completely out of the blue（blue: n. 天蓝色，错误  adj. 蓝色的，忧郁的   out of the blue:【习语】晴天霹雳，出乎意料）. Apparently, she had checked herself into the hospital because she’dbeen feeling nauseous（adj. 恶心的，想吐的）. Mom and I drove out to see her, but it’s a three-hour drive fromwhere we live, and by the time we got to the hospital, Grans was gone. A heartattack, they told us. Just like that.

这个世界上我唯一愿意吐露这点心事的人，我想是外婆，但是我没有。要在电话上说清楚实在太困难了。我以为她可能会来过感恩节，到时再告诉她我的感受也不迟。但是，跟她一起在蒙托克仅仅两个月后，我美丽的外婆就去世了。这一切来得太突然了。显然，她去医院检查身体是因为她一直感觉有点恶心。妈妈和我开车去看她，但是路上开了三个小时，等到达医院的时候，外婆已经去了。他们告诉我们，她死于心脏病。就这样。

It’s sostrange how one day you can be on this earth, and the next day not. Where did she go? Will I really ever see her again, or is that a fairy（n. 【故事中的】仙子，小精灵） tale（n. 故事，【精彩但不一定完全真实的】讲述）?

这种感觉真是奇怪，一个人今天还在世上，第二天就不在了。她去哪里了？我真的会再见到她吗？或者这只是一个童话？

You see movies and TV shows where peoplereceive horrible news in hospitals, but for us, with all ourmany trips to the hospital with August, there had always been good outcomes.What I remember the most from the day Grans died is Mom literally（adv. 字面上，真正地，简直） crumpling（crumple: v. 变皱，【因受惊等】瘫倒） to the floor inslow, heaving（heave: v. 缓慢发出【声音】） sobs（sob: v. 抽泣，呜咽）, holding her stomach like someone had just punched her. I’ve never,ever seen Mom like that. Never heard sounds like that come out of her. Even throughall of August’s surgeries, Mom always put on a brave face.

你看电影和电视节目的时候，总是看到人们在医院里接到噩耗，但我们却不然，我们与奥古斯特的所有求医之旅，总是有好结果。外婆去世的那一天，我印象最深的，是妈妈缓慢而痛苦地呜咽着，几乎瘫倒在地，她捂住自己的肚子，好像被什么人重重地打了一拳。我从来没见过妈妈这样，从来没有听到过她发出这种声音。虽然奥古斯特经历了那么多次手术，但妈妈总是装出一副勇敢的样子。

On my last day in Montauk, Grans and I hadwatched the sun set on the beach. We had taken a blanket to sit on, but it hadgotten chilly（adj. 寒冷的，阴冷的）, so we wrapped it around us and cuddled（cuddle:v. 拥抱） and talked until there wasn’t even a sliver（n. 小块） of sun left over the ocean. And thenGrans told me she had a secret to tell me: she loved me more than anyone elsein the world.

在蒙托克的最后一天，外婆和我在海滩看日落。我们带了一条用来垫屁股的毯子，但是天气寒冷，我们便围着它相互依偎着聊天，直到最后一抹夕阳消失在海面上。这时外婆说有个秘密要告诉我：她爱我胜过这世界上的一切。

“Even August?” I had asked.

She smiled and stroked（stroke: v. 抚摸） my hair, like she wasthinking about what to say.

“甚至胜过奥古斯特？”我问。

她微笑着抚摸我的头发，好像在思考该怎么回答。

“I love Auggie very, very much,” she saidsoftly. I can still remember her Portuguese（adj. 葡萄牙的  n. 葡萄牙人） accent（n. 口音）,the way she rolled her r’s. “But he has many angelslooking out for him already, Via. And I want you to know that you have me looking out for you. Okay, menina querida（葡萄牙语，亲爱的女孩）? I want you to know that you are number one for me. You are my…” Shelooked out at the ocean and spread her hands out, like she was trying to smoothout the waves, “You are my everything. You understand me, Via? Tu es meu tudo（葡萄牙语，你是我的一切）.”

“我很爱很爱奥吉。”她温柔地说。我还清楚记得她的葡萄牙口音，记得她卷舌发“r”音的方式。“但是他已经有很多天使在照看。维娅，我想让你知道，你有我照顾。好吗，孩子，亲爱的？我想让你知道，你对我来说是最重要的。你是我的……”她眺望着大海，伸出双臂，好像要努力平息海浪，“你是我的一切。你懂得我的意思吧，维娅？你就是我的全部。”

I understood her. And I knew why she said itwas a secret. Grandmothers aren’t supposed to have favorites. Everyone knowsthat. But after she died, I held on to that secret and let it cover me like ablanket.

我明白她的意思。我也知道，为什么她说这是个秘密。外婆是不应该偏心的。每个人都知道这一点。但是在她去世以后，我严守着这个秘密，让它像毯子一样覆盖着我。